


a study of you and re: [redacted]

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: peppermint smiles by tiffi, she by dodie, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 22:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: it is far too late for me to be awake but fuck off i do what i want//there is absolutely no meaning to the title it just makes me think of a book that i like so am hoping that people don't overanalyze that like they did with my tiktoks
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	a study of you and re: [redacted]

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't already read this maybe just don't

it’s the fact that you fell out of love with me so easily that i don’t know if you ever had feelings for me at all that hurt

you say you care and that you wanted us to last but if that was true then i don't think you would have cheated

so hook your thumbs in her belt loops now

slip your hands under her shirt

press your lips to her neck in the same place that gum wrapper was on that wednesday

and god, i hope you’re fucking happy

i hope you can find everything i didn’t have in the crook of her neck and the hollows of her cheekbones and her blue eyes and her warm hands

it’s like you’re icarus and she’s the sun and i don’t think i ever fit into this story

i hope you’re fucking happy now

i hope she’s worth what you lost

i hope you don't fucking regret it

and it's been a while since i've said it but note sarcasm

note hurt dripping from my words like raindrops at the beginning of a fucking thunderstorm

note letters falling onto a page like lies falling off of your lips

note lines laced with expletives and mocking tones

note my teeth bared to distract from my shaking hands

note letters sharpening into metaphorical knives that sting like offhanded comments and rolling eyes and lips pressed into a thin line

i do not think you ever truly wanted me

i don’t know if you even really want her

i think you might just want to be wanted

and she seems to be the next best thing that wanted you

i read that a star is formed from the collapse of a nebula

and maybe this destruction created your metaphorical star life

but can anything that begins in tragedy truly end well?

the collapse of a star leads to a black hole

and black holes will drag in everyone and everything around them

so while she makes tiktoks about you guys that end up outing me to my sisters (i wanted to be the one that told lizzie, not her fucking tiktok but here we are)

and you struggle to figure out whatever you have going on

i will not stop writing

even though my words have become fists and nails and teeth

even though these aren't love poems anymore

i will not fucking stop

my world will not stop for you

i'll learn to survive without looking for you just to remind myself that you're still alive and not all dreams come true

i'll dye my hair without worrying about your opinion

i'll make dumb videos with my sisters that mean nothing more than that

heartbreak may hurt but i will tape pieces of my heart together with every word i write

i will become my own star; i don't need a constellation to be complete


End file.
